Why's the water warm?
by sevvyboy1fangirl
Summary: When Sherlock gets a text from Moriarty to meet him at the pool what will he find when he gets there? oneshot, please review, enjoy:) Warnings: a crazy consulting criminal and a high functioning scoiopath


Sherlock didn't know what to expect when he got a text from Moriarty to meet him at the pool where John had been strapped to a bomb. This was a rare feeling for Sherlock due to the fact that he could usually deduce what was going to happen or someone's motives relatively quickly into the situation. This time however he couldn't, and he was now extremely curious. As he walked up the steps and into the building which held said pool, Sherlock wondered what would happen. Moriarty was very unpredictable so he really couldn't guess what would occur.

Sherlock walked into the pool room, the smell of chlorine invading his sense of smell. He didn't enjoy pools very much due to the fact that the chlorine inhibited his deduction skills by obscuring his ability smell, which could be very helpful in certain situations. He looked around the room which appeared to be empty and the thought of this being a trap crossed his mind, but he quickly deleted the notion as he would have been hurt already if it had been a trap. As he stepped further into the room he wagered that Moriarty would come out soon, because if he didn't the chance of Sherlock leaving due to boredom increased dramatically. Just as he had suspected, he heard a shrill giggle followed by a sing-song greeting.

"Hello Sherlock. Long time no see, did you miss me?" Moriarty said, stepping out of the door on the opposite side of the pool.

"You would like it if my answer was yes, but John always does say I tend to disappoint people." Sherlock said in his usual cold manner. Moriarty tsked.

"Now, now. You and I both know that you missed our games. Good old John is fun but he really can't compare now can he?" Moriarty said.

"Why did you want me here? It isn't to hurt John while I'm away, nor Mrs. Hudson and the others. I'm here specifically for you. Tell me why." Sherlock said, raising and eyebrow in question. Moriarty sighed.

"Oh well, guess you're not amused. We'll soon change that though, won't we Sherlock?" Moriarty said in a musical tone. "Well I have decided that the memories here aren't fun anymore. I'm not amused either, and when I'm not amused PEOPLE DIE!" He screamed the last part, looking as insane as he sounded. "So, you and I are here to fix that. We will think upon this pool and laugh from now on."

"I don't really see the point in eliminating your boredom." Sherlock said disinterestedly.

"Just because you act cold for everyone else doesn't mean you need to be cold for me old chum." Moriarty said in a too sweet voice. "I am possibly the only one who can understand you for what you are, a superior. We are the same, you and I. So lets have fun. Shall we?" Moriarty finished, hopping up and down.

"Fine, I'll have fun." Sherlock agreed grudgingly.

"Oh goody! Now, we are going to be having pool related fun. No, not swimming." Moriarty said, smiling deviously.

"Then what are we going to be doing? Something illegal I presume." Sherlock said, pretending to not be curious.

"No. We are going to be," Moriarty paused for dramatic effect, "peeing."

"Why I want to pee in the pool?" Sherlock questioned the madman.

"Because I want you to pee in the pool with me. Think, the world's only consulting detective and consulting criminal's peeing in the same pool at the same time. It's rather spectacular isn't it." Moriarty said, his eyes glinting with mischief. Sherlock was speechless, which in its self was a great feat to have been accomplished, he honestly had no idea where Moriarty got these ideas from. He was shocked in a sense. But then the pool room was filled with the reverberating sounds of Sherlock's laughter.

"Sure, why not. I've stolen an ashtray from Buckingham Palace for fuck's sake, why not pee in a pool with a criminal." Sherlock said in a manner that much represented John when he decided to stop fighting the inevitable when it came to Sherlock. Moriarty looked delighted that he had won so quickly, he had been planning to threaten John if the detective hadn't agreed soon.

"Alrighty then, lets do it!" Moriarty exclaimed.

"Yeah, lets pee in the pool." Sherlock agreed.

The sound of zippers being pulled down filled the big room, followed by the sound of streaming liquid and the insane laughter of the two famous consulters.  
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AN: This story was inspired by a strange discussion in my French class the other say. We were talking about pools (une piscine) and that the way to remember between a pool a beach (la plage) was that you don't piss in the piscine. Then we got to talking about peeing in pools, then to who would you pee in a pool with. The teacher called on my friend and asked who she would pee with. My friend had not been concentrating so she called out the first thing that popped into her head. Benedict. So that is why I have written this story. It is dedicated to my friend who wants to pee in a pool with Benedict Cumberbatch.

Well I hoped you enjoyed my oneshot. It was just something I did on a whim so I'm sorry for any problems you might have with it. Please review, no flames, and any suggestions you might have for future stories I'll be happy to consider.


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